Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Yesterday Richie and 3J were playing 'Nick and Carl'. [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Steve Urkel: So, you used me! Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Laura: Well, Steve, I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! Pick a general observation about her personality. It was your free safety. Sorry. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Eddie: Dad you embarrassed me in front of my friends. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. So long! Carl: What are you talking about? Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. I'm not your personal doormat. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Carl Otis Winslow: I'm not finished yet. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Heapingly, overflowingly, full! See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. Forget it, Steve. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Anybody have more punch? Steve Urkel: Really? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. That wasn't a rock video. Ordinarily, I like a table right next to the water. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Eddie: If I don't pull at least a C on my midterm exam, I'm gonna flunk Algebra. You showed me a picture of your dog. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. You'll never know how much time you'll have together. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. It's late. Harriette Winslow: I know. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Laura: Sure, Steve. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? But, like they say in the movie "Love Story" 'Love means never having to say I'm sorry Steve, but I'm takin' yo chick'. Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. You gotta fix that machineeeee. Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. College Problems Student Problems Reading, 'Riting and Racism? Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Did I do that? Gun, Carl. This isn't my grandmother. The truth is you deserve a kiss. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. urkel-steve. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. She's mine! Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! I'll tell you something else, Allison, I may not be the most trendy guy on campus, or the best looking and I'm CERTAINLY not the most coordinated. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Would you reward me with a kiss? Carl's first word was Donut. Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. While he was starring in "Family Matters" as Steve Urkel, White also began a side hustle as another staple of the era's popular culture . Clean up your room Edward. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. [Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them], [Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. I was not abrasive. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! Carl Otis Winslow: Ohohoho and they are personal and private. Then we par-tay, see no problem. 4 Mar. Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. What is the value of X? Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? More like The Repulsions. They help move along our sentences. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. Would you like that? Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger. He's never used his! Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". You think she'll really kiss Steve? All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, when are we leaving? Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. No. The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. I love my Army. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. next semester, are ya? Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. [Urkelbot throws robber into a pile of soupcans]. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. We'll go camping together some other time. Pull your gun right now. Not name your state. Carl: Oh, you heard me, don't ever come back. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! My parents play this with me all the time! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: over and over and over. No. Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. This poker game is important to you and I messed it up by inviting this windbag. Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! Eddo. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. Carl will understand. We're getting dirty looks from old people! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Carl] I know you're stubborn as a mule but you don't have to act like a jackass! Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. You're making me blush. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Steve Urkel: Why? I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . So, is it all right with you? I want more Punch! Harriette Winslow: You hit my husband again and you'll have to answer to me. Laura: Thank you, Steve. Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! I'm Stefan sweet thing. I'm drawn to you. Let's keep this one! Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! [laughs]. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Get me a cherry slurpy! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. You're always sorry. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Carl Otis Winslow: You look horrible. [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Just as I thought. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. Laura Lee Winslow: No! SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker! Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! I'll just begin a rigorist-training schedule. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Chocum hi chip chok!". Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! Steve Urkel: [reading] "No mouth breathing, no snorting, no drooling". She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. First of all, this is not a real date. [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Join. 7. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. The truth is you deserve a kiss. He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym. [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. Harriette Winslow: Yeah. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. 8. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. It meant a lot to me. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. I-I-I see. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. Wha? A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Judy Winslow: Boring. Steve Urkel: Practice. Please, my little Rapunzel. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. But I recognized him right away. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Wha? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Laura: [running in] Guess what? Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Laura: Where did you get the money for this? Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. 12. r/Unexpected. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul.